Poems on a slow Friday

Killian asked me to write him poems since I told him I was bored at work. Here they are, in all their glory.

A poem to celebrate Killian Escobedo

K is for killer butt

I is for Indigo eyeballs

L is for loving soul

L is for loyalty

I is for injustice fighter

A is for awesome

N is for Never a dorky person

E is for elephant penis

S is for super duper

C is for caring

O is for original

B is for blossoming love

E is for Escobedo

D is for declaration of joy

O is for opportunity awaits

Here's one written (sort of) in iambic pentameter.

It's entitled "Ann takes a long time leaving especially when she's riding her bike"

He waits for her, as patience alludes quietly,
She bumbles and swears as metal hits flesh.
Oh! How leaving the house lengthens days
And slowly we die as Ann leaves the house

And finally, a limerick

There once was a couple on Treat
Who drank every beer that they meet
He got really fat,
Her liver went splat
Now they lay under six feet

It's Christmas time!

I love this time of year but you know what I am already dreading? The last day of vacation and having to get ready for work the next day. Merry Christmas, everyone! Fuck that PC shit. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

This makes me want to barf

Halliburten is getting sued! Read this nasty shit-

"The lawsuit also accuses KBR of shipping ice in mortuary trucks that "still had traces of body fluids and putrefied remains in them when they were loaded with ice. This ice was served to U.S. forces."

Eller also accuses KBR of failing to maintain a medical incinerator at Joint Base Balad, which has been confirmed by two surgeons in interviews with Military Times about the Balad burn pit. Instead, according to the lawsuit and the physicians, medical waste, such as needles, amputated body parts and bloody bandages were burned in the open-air pit.

"Wild dogs in the area raided the burn pit and carried off human remains," the lawsuit states. "The wild dogs could be seen roaming the base with body parts in their mouths, to the great distress of the U.S. forces."

See original here-

http://www.armytimes.com/news/2008/12/military_kbr_lawsuit_121508w/

project i did for class

FYI it's super jumpy posted. It's better looking otherwise but you get the jist of it and I wanted to share anyway. This was done with Flash.

Facsimilie

Look at this email I received in response to a PDF menu I sent to someone-

"My computer couldn't deal with the fonts embedded in the PDF so the menu is unreadable. Is it possibe to fax it? My fax number is xxx-xxx-xxxx"


I did notice her area code to be Santa Cruz, so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised.

I love and hate fax machines. I love them because I think they're ridiculous. I hate them for a plethora of reasons including the noises it makes, the slow, slow whirring sound of paper being fed through it, and I really hate when you get a busy signal or accidentally call a live number not a fax number.

LEARN TO USE PDFs AND SCANNERS, PEOPLE!

I like the sexy one on the left

I came across this retarded article while looking up weather.

TV shows cause teen sex!

OMG!!!!!!!!!

Even though blaming the current administration is old and tired, I blame Bush. Under Bush, abstinence education trumped common sense. He put abstinence education in the budget in 2002, then in 2006 for the first time in 15 years the amount of pregger teens rose 3%. Correlation? Yah.

Yay!

Man, I can't remember the last time I was this happy. It's like a weight has been lifted. I feel like my little part in the process, no matter how small, was historic. Just thinking about last night when they said he was the 44th president was just.... beautiful. Everyone was jubilant. I CANNOT think of anytime recently that I have felt so wonderfully happy and joyous. It really has been a dark time and a lot of us sadly began to think that was status quo. It will stay dark for a while, but I am looking forward to our country being fucking AWESOME again.